Getting Out of Bed at Night: Why Toddlers Do It
If your toddler keeps getting out of bed after bedtime, comes wandering into your room overnight, or pops up repeatedly the moment you leave, you are not alone. This is one of the most common sleep struggles in toddlerhood, and it often starts suddenly, even if sleep was previously going well.
The tricky part is that toddlers do not get out of bed for just one reason. Sometimes it is developmental, sometimes it is habit, sometimes it is fear, and often it is a combination. Once you understand the driver, it becomes much easier to respond in a way that is consistent, calm, and actually works.
This blog explains why toddlers get out of bed at night, what is normal at different ages, and how to support this behaviour without bedtime turning into an all night negotiation.
Why toddlers get out of bed at night
Independence and boundary testing
Toddlers are wired to test boundaries. As soon as they realise they can leave their bed, they often do, because they can. This is a normal part of development and usually peaks around the 2 to 3 year stage.
This is especially common during the 24 Month Sleep Regression, when sleep can feel unsettled alongside big emotional development.
Separation anxiety
Some toddlers get out of bed because separation feels harder at night. They want reassurance, closeness, or to check that you are still there.
If you are seeing clinginess at bedtime, frequent calling out, or distressed wake ups, explore Separation Anxiety and Sleep.
Fear and imagination
Fear is a huge driver for many toddlers, especially after age two. A child who feels scared in their room will try to get to you, because you are their safety.
If fear seems involved, start with Fear of the Dark.
Routine mismatch and sleep pressure
If your toddler is under tired, they may fall asleep later, wake more, and treat bedtime like a second wind. If they are overtired, they may be dysregulated at bedtime, have more night waking, and struggle to resettle calmly.
This is why routine matters so much in toddlerhood, and why it helps to understand Undertired vs Overtired.
Big life changes
Toddlers often start getting out of bed during periods of change, such as:
moving into a big bed
starting daycare
travelling
illness
a new sibling
changes in caregiver routines
If daycare timing is part of the picture, see Daycare and Sleep.
They learned it works
If getting out of bed reliably leads to cuddles, conversation, extra snacks, or a parent lying with them until they fall asleep, it becomes a very reinforced pattern. That does not mean your child is being naughty. It means your child is learning.
Is it normal for toddlers to get out of bed?
Yes. If your toddler is in a bed rather than a cot, this behaviour is common and developmentally expected for many children.
What matters most is how you respond. If the response is inconsistent, the behaviour tends to increase. If the response is calm and predictable, toddlers usually adjust.
What getting out of bed often looks like
Common patterns include:
popping out repeatedly right after bedtime
calling out with repeated requests, then leaving bed
coming into your room overnight and climbing in
waking at the same time each night and seeking you
getting out of bed more during regressions or illness
If your child is waking frequently and you are unsure of the cause, you may also find Why Is My Baby Waking So Frequently at Night? helpful, even though it is written broadly, many drivers overlap across ages.
How to support it
1. Start with the environment and safety
If your toddler is getting out of bed, your first job is safety:
secure stairs and exits
childproof doors if needed
keep floors clear
ensure their sleep space is safe if they wander
This is where the Toddler Environment blog is essential.
2. Make bedtime routine predictable
A consistent bedtime routine reduces negotiation because your toddler knows what comes next.
If you need a simple structure, use Creating a Night Routine That Supports Sleep.
3. Keep the response boring and consistent
Toddlers repeat what is reinforced. If getting out of bed becomes the most interesting part of the night, it will keep happening.
A helpful approach is:
return them to bed calmly
minimal talking
same phrase each time
repeat as needed
Your consistency is what teaches the boundary, not your explanation.
4. Offer connection before separation
Many toddlers need more connection before bed to separate more calmly. This could look like:
10 minutes of one on one play
a longer cuddle
a predictable wind down that fills their cup
This is especially important if separation anxiety is driving the behaviour.
5. Address fear directly, without escalating it
If your toddler is scared, the boundary still matters, but so does reassurance.
Use a night light if needed, keep the room predictable, and give short calm reassurance while still returning them to bed.
If fear is the main driver, read Fear of the Dark as your next step.
6. Check sleep pressure and nap timing
If your toddler is getting out of bed because they are not tired enough, no boundary strategy will feel easy until routine is aligned.
This is where your age based routine matters, especially if naps are long or late.
If you suspect routine mismatch, revisit Undertired vs Overtired and your 2 plus routine blog.
What not to do
These responses usually make getting out of bed worse:
long conversations at the doorway
lying down with them for long periods if you do not want that long term
snacks, milk, or extra screens as a “please go to sleep” tool
inconsistent rules, sometimes allowed, sometimes not
Toddlers do better with simple, predictable responses.
When it is a sign they are ready to move out of the cot
Some toddlers start climbing out of the cot, and that is a safety flag. If your child is climbing out, they need a safer sleep setup, which may mean moving to a bed earlier than planned.
If this is happening, the environment and boundaries become even more important. The Toddler Environment blog will be your key link for bed setup and safety.
Looking ahead
Getting out of bed can feel relentless, but it is usually a phase that improves with consistent boundaries, a predictable bedtime routine, and a sleep setup that supports independence and safety.
The Toddler Course supports families through toddler sleep challenges including bedtime resistance, getting out of bed, fears, parasomnias, overnight waking, and emotional development, with practical strategies that grow with your child.
If you want guidance across both baby and toddler stages, the Infant and Toddler Bundle provides long term support through regressions, routines, nap transitions, toddler boundaries, and sleep disruptions as your child grows.
Eva Beke
Certified Paediatric Sleep Consultant
Founder The Sleepy Little Bubs
I’m Eva Beke, a certified baby and toddler sleep consultant and founder of The Sleepy Little Bubs, supporting families across Australia and the world with evidence based baby and toddler sleep support.
My approach is realistic, supportive, and designed to evolve as your child grows, so you’re not just getting help for today, but confidence moving forward.
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