Becoming a big sibling is a huge transition for the firstborn, often filled with both excitement and some tricky feelings. Helping your child adjust to their new role can make the experience more positive and a little bit easier on everyone. Here are some tips to ease your child into becoming a big sibling to ensure they continue to feel just as loved and included as before. 

INVOLVE THEM EARLY ON

From the moment you share the news of new baby, include your child in the process. Let them feel the baby kicking, show them the ultrasound pictures and read books about becoming a big sibling. This early involvement helps them understand what is happening and builds excitement. 

MAINTAIN THEIR ROUTINE

Once baby arrives home, understand that your child's' entire world as they know it has been turned upside down. One of the best things you can do is to keep their routine as close to normal as possible. Familiar routines provide a sense of security and normalcy amongst the changes.

You can do this by ensuring their bedtime, mealtime and playtime remain as close to "predictable". This may mean also continuing with childcare for your toddler or school for your older child. An added bonus to this, is that it will help you fall into a good routine with your newborn as well following some structure. 

SET ASIDE ONE-ON-ONE TIME

From the day your baby comes home, it is crucial to spend quality time with your child. Set aside a specific period each day for one-on-one activities, whether it is reading some books, playing a game, or taking a walk together.

Try increasing their wind-down period before bedtime to fill their cup with some undivided attention. This reassures them that they are still a priority, and if they go to bed with a full cup, you are less likely to experience any sleep disruptions as a result.

One of the biggest hurdles about welcoming a new child is making time for the older, more self-sufficient child even when you are undoubtedly busy with the newborn.

Put yourself in their shoes - they used to get 100% of your attention, and its an incredibly hard concept to understand having to split that now.

ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENCE

Promote activities that your child can do independently to boost their confidence and reduce the feeling of needing constant attention.

Simple tasks like picking out their clothes or helping with small chores can make them feel grown-up and essential to the household. For times that you need to be quite hands-on with the baby, have a special toy or activity basket reserved for these times that they can play with to keep them engaged and excited about the independent play. 

CREATE A SPECIAL ROLE

Give your child a special title, like "Mummy's helper" or "Big Bro/Sis". This makes them feel important and valued and help them feel more included in these changes. Their new role involves helping with simple tasks like grabbing a new nappy for the baby or helping sing lullabies before they go to sleep. The more involved they feel, the less likely they will be to have jealous outbursts and hurt feelings. 

CHOOSE YOUR LANGUAGE CAREFULLY

This is one of my favorite tips for bringing home a new baby. If you haven't gathered it thus far, it is so important to ensure that your older child still feels like a priority. Understandably in the first few weeks, your newborn is going to need a lot of your time and attention which can make it very easy for your child to feel like they've been put on the back-burner and spike the feelings of jealousy and resentment.

If you are busy with your baby and your older child is wanting your attention, instead of saying, "Sorry Jack, I'm feeding the baby.", try rephrasing to a yes and say, "I'd love to play with your blocks, I'll be done in 5 minutes. What should we build?". These are great verbal reminders to your child that they are still important and helping them with timelines is a good way to increase their patience.

On that same note, it can be very helpful for your child to see that sometimes baby has to wait on them, too! When baby wakes up, instead of rushing to their side, first say "I'll be right there baby, I'm just finishing playing blocks with Jack!". Of course the baby won't hear or understand, but your child will feel important.

HIGHLIGHT THE BENEFITS

Talk about the advantages of being a big sibling, like being able to play with their best friend every day and growing up with their sibling. Tell stories about how you grew up with your siblings and relate it to them.

BE PATIENT AND FLEXIBLE

Transitions can be challenging for all involved, so patience is key. There will be moments of jealously and hurt feelings, but with time, support and love, your toddler will adjust and have so much love for their baby. Be flexible and willing to adapt strategies as needed to suit your child's unique personality and needs.

By taking these steps and implementing extra focus on making your toddler or older child feel included, you will help them embrace their new role with confidence and excitement and start building an incredible bond with their new sibling. Focusing on this transition helps your child navigate difficult emotions, and helps everyone cope with the 4th trimester.

If you are noticing some regression in your toddler due to new baby, our 30min Quick Chat is the perfect option for you as we can run through realistic expectations and provide you some key strategies to help everyone adjust.

• Check out our Newborn Sleep Guide that is packed full of information to help you navigate the first couple of months with your new bub. Getting onto a loose routine will help you be able to prioritize time with your toddler.
• Not sure what is right for you? Get on the phone to one of our experienced consultants with our FREE 15min Discovery Call